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Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Why Do I Do This?

Well. Hello.

I'm not really sure where to begin (again). This post feels like the Fuller House or Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life of my blog, except this was never as popular as their predecessors and this still feels just as lame of a revival attempt.

(I have not watched either show, but am not terribly fond of reboots in general, with notable exceptions.)

My name is still Amanda. I'm now 25 years old with a full-time job, an apartment, a cat and a boyfriend. I did not acquire those things in that order.

Reading this thing is so surreal. I don't recognize the girl in these posts. The one who was SO SURE that she understood ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I do not miss her ignorance, but I do miss her confidence. But as the saying goes, the more I learn, the less I know. And that does quite a number on your confidence.

Honestly, I can't believe I can still access this blog, but I'd forgotten that Google acquired Blogger some time ago, so it's all linked through my Google account. If I were Google, I'd see "last post: 2009" and be like "welp, this one's a lost cause. LOCKED FOR POSTERITY!" I'm thankful that they did not do that, especially as I'm drifting further and further away from Tumblr and still want some kind of space that primarily text-based where I can put my sporadic word vomits.

I have to go back to work now, so here are a couple of thoughts:

  • For posterity, the old blog URL was 
  • It's so weird reading these old posts because I now realize that I've always had a very definitive voice. You can read something I wrote and be like "yah Amanda totes wrote it bruh" (or however kids talk nowadays). But my voice in 2005 is all "LOL SO RANDUMB. CHEESE!!!!!!!!!! >:D" and now I can't quite pinpoint what it's like now. Composed? In any case, I'm not complaining. If I still wrote the same way I did at 14, I'd put away my keyboard forever. 
  • In the meantime should you peruse my old writing, please please PLEASE don't be too offended. I PROMISE you that I have grown up SIGNIFICANTLY and 100% acknowledge that I was a problematic little fuck back in the day. I trust that you, dear reader, are nuanced enough to understand that pretty much all 14-year-olds are the worst people until they eventually aren't. Posts from 2005-2009 largely do not reflect my current views. I say "largely" because I haven't re-read them all and don't particularly care to do so. 

Until next time, whenever that may be.

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